How do you feel about adoption when your child is troubled?

Going to school is a real pain for a certain number of children who are subjected to verbal, moral and physical violence and theft every day. According to figures from the Ministry of Education, bullying affects around one in ten children at school. This phenomenon can lead to serious consequences such as isolation, loss of self-confidence, lower school results or even dropping out of school, and severe psychological impact.

What attitude should we adopt when our child is bullied? Who to contact? Here are some tips to know.

Define bullying

The first step is to identify the problem. What exactly is harassment? Where does it start? “It is the desire to harm others”Catherine Jacquet, vice president of the association, explains

“Marion, Outstretched Hand”. This “verbal and/or moral violence (nasty nicknames, insults, mockery, violence, rejection from the group, etc.), physical violence (shooting, blows), theft” suffered”many times“, in turn, points to the Ministry of National Education

his special page. The concepts of repetition and intent are important in defining aggression. Otherwise, “there is a dominant-dominant relationship, which creates the phenomenon of a ‘pack’, a face-to-face group of one or two”Catherine Jacquet notes. “When the same facts happen on social networks, via SMS or e-mail, we talk about cyberbullying”the ministry said.

Assault “it happens outside of school too”, notes Catherine Jacquet. The association has identified six risk areas: “Classroom, playground, road to school, corridors, canteen and landscaping”.

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Talk to your child

It is necessary from an early age “Freedom of speech, talk about these types of topics and create debates”– says Catherine Jacquet. “Bullying starts in kindergarten, so we should try to spend time very early, discuss, play with our children to feel and wait.”

Because most of the time, the child does not express the pain he is suffering. Therefore, it is important to know his attitude and be careful. “If your child does not talk about the abuse, but withdraws into himself, for example, shows unusual reactions when using a cell phone, for example, seems isolated, is nervous, anxious, tired, has problems sleeping. or an eating disorder, he or she may be a victim of bullying or cyberbullying“the ministry emphasizes.

Established discussion times will give the child the keys to understand the situation and begin to express himself. It can also allow you to react to violence if you witness it. Otherwise, “There are videos and booklets that allow you to start an argument with the child, to make him understand certain things”“Outstretched hand Marion” emphasizes the union representative.

Get all the facts

In case of follow-up, the Ministry of National Education recommends that “Be as specific as possible about the nature of your child’s problems.”. It’s all about listening and observing again. “Discuss openly to find: facts and possible perpetrators and witnesses”writes the ministry, which advises to write everything down. “Note the date, time, people involved, description of the facts, their repetition, your child’s reaction to the situation. Also, keep any evidence of harassment, especially on social media (screenshot…).”

Document from the Ministry of National Education within the campaign "no aggression".
A document from the Ministry of National Education within the framework of the “no persecution” campaign.

Talk about it within the organization

One of the first recommendations of the Ministry of Education is not to try to interfere directly with the concerned persons. “It could make things worse.”, he says. The Ministry initially advises parents to make an appointment with the school administration and explain the pressures in detail. “If the situation is proven, the school will implement appropriate solutions together with you so that your child does not suffer from this bullying anymore. Keep yourself regularly informed about the monitoring of your child’s situation, as well as the measures implemented within the institution. fight against harassment.

The representatives of the students’ parents can also be contacted. Since the beginning of the academic year in September, the government has conducted generalization

pHAre software , a bullying prevention plan for schools and colleges. It consists of training educational professionals to raise awareness and prevent this phenomenon. “You should try to talk to the referees”Summarizes Catherine Jacquet, “go to the pros” in appropriate schools or recreational facilities.

“Your child may be afraid to talk: calm him down, ask him what he wants, explain to him that adults are there to help him and stop the abuse he is experiencing.”, advises the ministry. Otherwise,

“No to bullying” student ambassadors is also trained in certain colleges and high schools and can be the first ear for children.

Report negative content

In the specific case of cyberbullying, it is possible to report messages, photos, videos, published comments that harm a child. Most social networks have a place dedicated to this:






Youtube. “If you’re having trouble finding forms online, you can log in

Pharos platform or on the site

Point of contact report illegal content”the ministry adds.

Numbers to know

Several devices have been installed outside the school, starting with toll-free numbers. “If you are hesitant to join the institution or if the problem resolution seems slow to you, you can contact the academic harassment referrer using the toll-free number 3020.“, the Ministry of National Education reports. In fact, there are 380 follow-up referees spread throughout the territory. Direct lines of referees at the academic level are available on this.

transition. 3020 is free, anonymous, and available Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. to 8 p.m., and Saturday 9 a.m. to 6 p.m.

A number specifically dedicated to cyberbullying has also been created, 3018. This toll-free number is free, anonymous, confidential and open Monday to Saturday, 9am to 8pm. A program called 3018 was also launched last February. It allows you to chat or phone with a 3018 professional, save evidence of harassment, “Am I being harassed?” and tip sheets.

In addition, there are several associations that specialize in harassment and cyberbullying.

transition. “You can contact Marion, an outstretched hand, we have shelters where we accept abusers, victims of persecution, witnesses, the whole family, so that they can have a truly humane approach and we can accompany them with therapeutic follow-up.”Catherine Jacquet explains.

Seek justice

Finally, depending on the situation, “When there is serious violence, we will go to a higher level” turns to justice. A sometimes long and difficult procedure that Catherine Jacquet recommends to be accompanied by an association: “It’s very delicate and it’s so painful for parents who find themselves in this situation that they have to be accompanied. On your own, it’s very difficult. The parent already has to look after the child, so that’s what the associations are there for.”

Since last March

school violence is a specific crime, is punishable by imprisonment for three years and a fine of 45,000 euros if it causes total incapacity for work (ITT) of less than or equal to eight days, or even if it does not cause ITT. If the ITT exceeds eight days and the facts lead the victim to commit suicide or attempt to do so, the penalty is even ten years in prison and a fine of 150,000 euros.

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